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| Why I live in Essex over London. |
Went out with a girl the other night right. Bit out of the ordinary I know, but yeah, anyway it was well
shit. She was actually pretty (believe it or not), well pretty and it became apparent real quickly that I was out of my league here. She enjoyed chatting and well I was mainly enjoying the cocktails. I felt a little like I had to lie if I was any shot at making this work. I was not up to the level of stories clearly. Jean shopping with Rhys Darby, lines off of fire extinguishers, hanging out with Bon Iver, getting on it with Tiki Taane, just applied for a job as Hugh Grants nanny etc. It was going in one ear and continuing on through the other despite my best efforts to concentrate. It was some Jazz bar we were at and they had a portrait of Louie Armstrong on the wall behind her head. I couldn't help but keep diverting my attention to Louies fully inflated cheeks and wondering how much air he could direct with those two fleshy parachutes on the sides of his face. I even pointed her attention to it. She seemed a little less interested in Louies lips than I was. I had thoughts such as to how many cheese burgers Louie could house at once in there, or how long it would take him to blow up a ly-lo at the beach. My thoughts had run wild, our conversation had gone to absolute shit and I was feeling like just going home. We talked about money and when she heard how much I make at the pub, she asked why I worked there? and why I lived in Essex? then on to my rent?, which finally lead to me sleeping on a couch. And of course why? She made me feel like I needed to sort myself out. I didn't feel I did, but it made me feel shit. Discussing me as If I was some fucking charity case. I even felt a touch of anger at that point. I knew it was going to be shit all along. Like I'm pretty sure I met her because she was looking for drugs and I had a sort of an unkempt columbian look going on at the time. I was feeling kind of lonesome and shit that day. A weekend off and everyone else working. Well it was shit. I hugged her, punching the window in the process by accident, after forking out 25 of my hard earned. I was broke as well at the time and it really depressed me to be cutting my life savings in half for such a lousy time. She will find some musician blower, which she can power snort blow off of fire retarding aids, but I'm really not like that. I thought back to conversations with other girls I'd had, I remember talking to a girl once about the origins of the saying "Happy as Larry" and we laughed and had a time. The gag I made was that surely Larry felt down at some point and, boy was a I feeling like larry when that time hit. I decided to take the underground to work, where I knew I would be able to feast on some complimentary beverages to drown the sorrows. I stopped at Euston, having to walk about a half a mile to Kings Cross to ride a metropolitan. I told you i was feeling lousy and then the rain came down and all the amber lights reflecting off shiny red buses and all the guys out on the town for a friday night holding their gals and all the puddles splashed with the traffic and a siren went off in the distance and I kind of wondered why I was in this place. A crushing place, where the rain makes you feel 10 times heavier than when you're at home. I felt shit. This hair gel I used ran into my eyes from the downpour and I decided to sit for a moment outside the sheltered front of a library. On the railing there was this bum smoking a cigarette, looking sullen and terminally hungered. I sat away from him and decided to have a cigarette myself. I had a pouch because I knew that the girl i was seeing that night smoked from memory and at risk of looking like square I got one too. Should of grabbed a few scores aswell in hindsight, would have been a real hit. It came in handy as I sat there rolling in the dark with a wet old face and a blank old stare. I enjoyed the concentration of rolling rather than the smoking to be honest. My mind was on the job and empty with the steps of bending the paper just so as to catch the filter and trap the tobacco, tunneling it just loose enough to burn. I smoked it and seeing that bum getting up, I decided to rocket off before I had to hand him half my tabbachi supplies. I stopped at a pub less than a stones throw away called O'neills and I naturally ordered a Guinness. I sat there on my own in a packed pub and I just looked out the dripping window and sort of fiddled with a coaster and sipped my pint, and rolled cigarettes. It made me feel better. I ordered another and I enjoyed just sitting there by myself. A packed pub on your own is lonelier than an empty one because you can see all the other people in their groups drinking wine and whisky and other luxury end-of-the-working-week drinks as they laugh and hoot and spit. I liked it though, I regathered some composure in there. I left in decent spirits. I made it to my pub, because sometimes you have to go where everybody knows your name and I drank and laughed with ray and steve and Danny my housemate knocked off and we had a few and all was redeemed and I never remember just once how shit I was feeling an hour prior. I felt good and tried it on with a bird who laughed at my drunkness I guess and my over blown rant at how much I loathed fabric, and how easy it is to fall down the stairs there. Put some goddam rails up I ordered. She was from liverpool or manchester and I asked her about 5 times how long she was staying and she explained every time that she worked here and was living in London, and then we'd chat for a bit and I would forget and ask again haha. I sure was smashed. She left me with a kiss on the cheek. haha she was like 30 but she was nice and looked way younger. I talked about a zombie book with ray. I'm now reading it like and it's alright I guess. I had to because ray was so damn excited about this book and how the trailer for the box office movie in production starring brad pitt looked amazing and he asked who I would rather date out of brad pitt and david beckham and I said Johnny Depp and we were off laughing and of course drinking. haha I had such an odd night with such a friendly and fantastic finish. I can see what kept Norm and cliffy coming back to the bar everynight for some pints, some pointless conversation and the ensuring laughs that follow.
